Uppy downy

Had another bad sleep, got woken up by coughing up bile but this time more intense. Then nodded off for a bit then woke up for the day. Shame I wasn’t ready for it! Body was like it was made out of lead and all my joints and muscles ached. I put it down to working yesterday, but the hard fact I find difficult to understand is it was 3 1/2 hrs in the morning and 45mins in the afternoon. I used to do 10 hours a day before, then work on the house! I don’t know what’s wrong, if A picture would explain it it would have to be an almost deflated ballon looking all sad. 

I know your supposed to accept it as “a off day” or “a me day” it’s just lucky it was my day off today! It’s horrible to know your not anything like you used to be. Everything takes that little bit more than it did only a year and a bit ago. But it makes me wonder if there is something else wrong that’s not been spotted but that’s the BPD taking it to the extreme end of things.

One small good thing I have noticed on the work front, I normally self destruct in the way of some thing bugs me and I say ” that’s it I quit”. But with the training I have received in mental health I am challenging that thought. And it is only my perception of that “bug” that’s an issue. Any normal person would not even give it a thought but it becomes a massive mountain to me. So I had a chill and worked through it and it feels better. It will be a recurring thing and I will come back to the same old issue, just have to rise above it I guess? Harder than it sounds…..

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