So week one at work done! And my nerves/ distress of the “don’t want to go to work ” is pretty much gone. May I even say I feel better in myself because I have made it through the 1st week, as I was so ill due to thinking I can’t do it! I have to thank my wife,boss and CPN for there different inputs on the subject. I was being a nervous nelly over it but it also shows how unstable I am at this stage in rebuilding my life. CPN did point out in may I took 14g of one medication in the determination to end my life and most of the people he visits haven’t done it and haven’t come as far as I have. So he said I am bound to have some wobbly moments! I’m hoping that I start to focus less on work a bit as it has consumed me for the last few weeks. And I hope I replace this with doing something constructive at home e.g. Getting on with the mini! But I will not beat myself up about it if I don’t!
Also I think I’m looking forward to seeing some sun and warmth coming this year. Fed up with battleship grey and damp cold meh!!!!! I have found that taking my night meds around 9pm and getting to bed sooner makes a bit of difference. And also I’m starting to eat a little less which may help brighten me up a bit???? But I still can force myself to don some Lycra and get fit! Lol. Also can’t wait to start longbow archery again, weather is still a bit pants for that at the moment. It’s been about 2 months, so may not be able to pull the bow like I used to. Couple of weeks and all will be good again, still won’t hit the target though 😉
Just hope everyone has a nicer year, and hope everyone gets along a bit better with everyone.